keyblade_vegitableking89

ninja_wolf @ 2005-01-30T18:23:00

2005-01-30T23:26:01Z

this it lord, i give up i have lost faith in everything i can hear the cheers for my endmy downfall, so i give up the shadows finally have me i have lost the light i cant see u anymoe god. i am sorry to those who read this and actually have faith in me but i lost it all and have nothing to believe in anymore. to those of u who wish my suffering and hate me, u happy u won ok i have lost everything so now back the fuck off go to hell and leave me alone

ninja_wolf @ 2005-01-30T12:05:00

2005-01-30T17:06:50Z

ok then jus be there at 3. and we will settle this face to face cause it is easy to insult from a comp but in perosn i am sure u r jus an insultent whelp. remember u have 3 hours good day to u

ninja_wolf @ 2005-01-28T21:26:00

2005-01-29T02:31:45Z

kevin kevin kevin if u want a confrontation meet me at miller sunday at 3 i will await your reply via email. o and how do i no it is u, u sir have used the same words so many times i see tham and the way they r used i can only hear your voice. u degenerate fuck stop insulting from a distacne anyone can do it if u wish to insult me do it in at a distance in which we r face to face. and i swear if u even have the balls to show up sunday or be it whoever the fuck u r i will give u props and take u done and call u a man for taking your beating like a man if not u will forever and always be a child and a coward and not at all a person worthy of my notice this is where it ends. miller 3 no help jus u and me no outside interference nothing u and me one on one mono a mono. good day and i will await your swift reply, coward.

sincerly,
lupine

fuck u all

2005-01-27T01:00:26Z

ok guys now i am fucking pissed as hell. those who r curseing me off < her i no though she wont admit> and the rest of u mother fuckers fuck off ok. i no i am not well liked well guess wat ok i am happy for once so piss off. now back to studying for fucking high tech mids

ninja_wolf @ 2005-01-05T22:42:00

2005-01-06T03:50:43Z

yo everybody i am back. so life is ok right now i am enjoying every second of it but i am still plagued by certain questions. anyways i am the quietest in homeroom. i have this speech due on wat possession i have is most valuable to me i of course chose my glass statue of new york, every time i look at it my happy memories come back to me. i still like her < not cassie> but i am scared to tell her, sarah says do it and she is a great friend always giving me advice but i am still too scared heh funny really i can take a kick to the gut and not flinch but talking to girls scares me horribly. anyway valentines day is coming and i am happy for my friends who are coupled but i am not so i am rather pissed at the holiday like every year. i am talking to old friends now daily it is cool we talk alot now so cant complain. life is really looking up but y then do i feel empty

ninja_wolf @ 2004-12-29T14:45:00

2004-12-29T19:50:26Z

yo everybody listen if u still read this i quit this one to damn depressing my new lj is under the name lupines rage. it will have only a story i amwriting nothing more i may update here but only in extreme situations also i no longer like cassie. yay but now i like some one else dang i am hopeless. well one last thing i am so bored that well i unblocked everyone on my buddy list i wanna see if they realize it or not hehehehehehehehehe i am so evil well i had a good x-mas i got gotillaz first cd < i am the biggest fan dis them and i get pissedi got some sweet games and a new watch well that is basically wat is up i may update soon or not anyway peace out < walks away holding sword and opposite arm wraped in bandages while wearing a cloak over everything>

ninja_wolf @ 2004-12-06T23:15:00

2004-12-07T04:15:25Z

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Sense of Humour
In a survival situation, you:	Run like hell
Your hidden talent is:	Courage
Your gift is:	Artistic talent
In groups, you:	Don't fit in
Your best quality is:	Your compassion
Your weakness is:	Your antisocial nature

Quiz created with MemeGen!

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-29T22:44:00

2004-11-30T03:52:13Z

well here i am sitting in the quiet. i am still confused as always. i am tweaked cause caitlin hinted to her i like her so yeah i am tweaked i am always bored i feel no challenge in anything anymore, like i have accomplished so much and done so much that i am bored to tears now. well cassie nos i dont like her anymore. i am still bored and afraid, of what u ask yourself well read above. so here i am bored awake and praying she doen no cause if so i will have to vent out and my lj will nit be enough i will have to fight and since i stopped doing tae kwon doe i lost sparring rights and judo iz not my subject if i go after svhool she may suspect

so yeah love sux, i hate people in love which worx out and everything else any way on a brighter note i am healthy

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-26T22:37:00

2004-11-27T03:47:25Z

they say somtimes even if u try and keep yourself calm and normal u will still need to vent what u r feeling well here i go: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel very weird now i feel all warm and fuzzy around my friend gabrielle and not around cassie. cait says i don like cassie and like gabrielle. but i am afraid it may be true cause if so i have fallen in love with a good friend and great person and if something should happen and i screw up we may never talk again and i enjoy being her friend. damn it i am so FUCKING confused. if only i could still practice my martial arts i can relieve it all through my fists but now the weather is colder and i cant. see i have never been anyones boyfriend reall and dont no the first thing bout being one. that is right all of u out there i am not afraid to admit it. so i may screw it up. well anyway sides that i took a personality quiz in which element i am like and the resulst say i am one withe the element of spirit a confused and wandering element that is a combination of all them which causes the confusion. yeah that made me feel better so yeah and sarah since i no u r reading this now i must tspeak with u. for my sanity depends on it. well now to talk bout the day. a slow quiet day. damn it waz so good. well now i shall leave u all with my catch phrase love really FUCKING sucks.
p.s. my friends she nos not of this so please mention nothing of this too her i beg of u all.

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-24T18:58:00

2004-11-25T00:15:22Z

well here i am typing in a dead quiet room alone.... cause of my report card i am not to touch any of my games, have my tv in my room, or dvd player or cable box and am not even supposed to be on my computer so...... my parents suck. damn it i am such a friggin goober i cant even talk to them cassie and yes gabrielle. damn it i hate my heart

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-23T18:27:00

2004-11-23T23:44:34Z

well i dont no what i am feeling i no i like to people and my heart iz torn by that. so i don no what the hell iz goin on anymore. i waz told by abe that the other one i like my have a boyfriend and i am screaming to my heart what the fuck are you doing to me. i now feel the way i did for six years prior to coming to high tech and that is empty. i no i have friends and its not all this that makes ne feel this way, i have been feeling this way for about a week or two now and i only realized i have feelings for her yesterday. well i shouldnt burden people with problems that are my own. i never did before and i always solved them alone so i will continue doing it the i know. anyway health waz dull, mistah diaz iz pissed cause a large majority of us failed the chapter test i don no how i did., current events waz cool, musical theater i hope wew do something hands on before i go insane, science we found out that finding nemo won and that we r watching it in our double period tomorrow. i am goingg to be watching that movie for the 14th time, yeah i am coming in tomorrow with a pic fof nemo in a sushi roll sliced in 6 and am going to write i found nemo. well i waz all happy today till abe broke the news to me at 5:30 also i feel now like well i dont no...... anyway i will be round next update sarah if u are reading this i leave up to u if u think u should step in and help or not

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-22T20:51:00

2004-11-23T02:01:09Z

my internet iz back up so look out cause i have returned. well where to start i am so depresse and its cause of anime club all anyone needs to no iz that we saw the sadest thing and it is a tru story. well i also figured out i like another girl along with her. so now my heart is torn. i got pants for my birthday ::coughand165dollarscough:: and final fantasy 11 so i am gonna be busy. and time for the conclusion of rpg life now in progress

crap:999999999 health
me: 1 hp 1000 mp cast origin
crap: dodges and hits me knocking away my last hp
me: i will not fall so easy i must stand i must help my friends :: gets new forearm armor:: my family ::gets new leg armor:: my hopes :: gets new torso armor:: and dreams :: gets new visor:: and finally for all the wrongs i have done that must be righted :: health boosts to 99999999999999999999999999999 mp goes to 9999999999999999999999999 strength goes to 999999999999999999999999 and speed and accuracy and magic attack defense as well as physical go to 999999999999999999999999999999999. marko goes from warrior mage to holy fuck we r all going to die.::
me: i will not be vanquished i will stay strong trough my hardships :: does the dragon fang exploding blade.::
crap: felled u got 10000 gil and 2exp points
me: someone needs to change the system.

if anyone called me this weekend i am sorry i lost my phone i found it 5 mins ago and it says i missed 3 calls so if u were one of the callers readers sorry

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-17T20:54:00

2004-11-18T01:56:04Z

my friend my best friend gave me this advice

bbq7upyours: dude, dont be so down though, life is a bitch, be a bitch back.
Samurai X 2929: well both our lives suck. no joe see the thing iz i am now going to tell u something i haven'y yold anyone cause u r my best friend
bbq7upyours: ok.
Samurai X 2929: i am stressed cause i just cant seem to get her like me. i try and try but now i think that she jus hates me and that i should give up surpress the feelings and drown them out

bbq7upyours: bbq7upyours: girls suck. Dateing sucks. Wait untill your older, basicly life your life to the fullest, dont be pulled down by girls. =)
bbq7upyours: Also dont try to get her to like you. If she likes you she will come to you.
Samurai X 2929: heh sorry joe i am noy u
bbq7upyours: I don't flirt, I just be myself, and well I know a few people like me (I dont like them back though..)

see soo here i am saying this i quit i hate this i feel horrible i am casting away my heart and burying it i will suprees these feelings.

I QUIT!!!!!!

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-17T19:42:00

2004-11-18T00:40:51Z

Who’s to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don’t take away the pain
That I feel inside, I’m tired of all the lies
Don’t nobody know why
It’s the blind leading the blind
I guess that’s the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody’s got to know
There’s got to be more to life than this
There’s got to be more to everything
I thought exists

and then there iz

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I
Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

sooo from what u read can u guess how i feel or iz it jus that i like these songs i'll let u decide
well my grandpa iz back and man it iz good to see him. to day waz ehhhhh ok. i lost my book of poetry and now gotta start over, i also finally started to write Redemption an original story. well mr. albans class waz bleh. science waz kinda cool i got all the notes and actually understood everything i did, so i guess i finally woke up to school and am in the game. the there waz spanish guwd i hate that class she never calls on me only mark and natalie. so i never need to pay attention. lunch waz boring i had to do algebra homework that diaz assigned and never told us so i finished second the bell rang. diaz had such a weird laugh it waz wow crap he iz psychotic X\. then there waz noble shit it waz quiet like damn we r never that quiet even wit noble. finally guidance that waz the high point of the day. matt gabrielle and i got into a discussion on the banning of books, and we had damn good reason people banned little red riding hood and crap y they also banned james and the fucking peach. wow these people are ignorant.
i am still very stressed and tired so i think i will get back into my old tae kwon do training regiment damn i need to release this stress and they took me out of judo. tomorrow i have health i will be so bored. anyway my b-day in 3 dayz so i am a little happy, no one ever remembers so i cant really get all happy. < b if u r reading this i am not pessimisstic i am stating the truth my past six b-dayz no one did remember> so any way i think i'll sum up my life right now rpg style.

me= 10,000 hp
crap in my life= 999,999
me= cast ultima
crap= reflect and triple cast origin
me= hits lose 9,999 casts curaga regain 8000hp
i will overcome the crap don worry
and yay my typing and spelling skillz r returning to me yesh. and no i never use spell check

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-16T16:09:00

2004-11-16T21:39:48Z

damn i may be able to come back to life but crap does it hurt. well my life went from notjing could bring me down to sux so fucking badly. well first my grandpa had surgery. it waz nothing serious but i waz worried and even the slightest can go wrong and i look up to him sooo i waz worried. i din sleep sunday, i had found out averages, and my luv life took sum more bad turns(hold on what luv life) well they say it gets worse before it gets better so i gotta wait it out, b told me the most pessimeistic thing she said that hope praying and thinking good never works so just give up. well that really made me feel better b lol jus messin b ilu but u no da rest. ehhhh i got health now which iz a bunch of frickin bull i am a martial artist any way u slice it and now i cant do judo. bunch of shit i use tae kwon do and judo to relieve stress so now i lost that and finally other stuff that i wont tlak about anyway i forgot to mention dat i am also thinking too much of my mortality since what iz goin on wit my gramps he should be back tommorrow but it makes u think. well anyway i don have the strength to say it so life righ now sux. oh before i forget i have two things to say 1. love iz the most cruel yet beutiful thing ever 2. yes yes i have a lazy eye if u havent noticed now u no that is y i sometimes wear glass

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-14T07:30:00

2004-11-14T13:04:30Z

cfap that always hurts
well since yesterday waz a boring day and friday nothing really happened i am going to use this time to answer to comments, b uf your reading this is my fan mail 1 lol no what i mean. welll m first one came in about three or four i must say this now my live journal iz no place to continue old conflicts it iz just to use my life to pass time so i want no fighting, with that said the comment. now listen i did care for u at one point but u stabbed me in the back the two of u if there iz one thing that pisses me the hell more then anything anyone can ever do iz betraying me or those close to me. u were the one that cast the first stone then i listened toyour problems no matter how miniscule and gave advice even though u forfeited such a right by stabbing me in the back both of u did. and the kicker waz that u come to my lj jus to curse of my problems. wake up the world does not revolve around u it never has and never will and your right i am a bitch cause i dont want people like u around me so yeah and if u r reading this i would like for u to discontinue reading my lj as of this moment. to sarah u r my friend sarahbus but their waz no need to renew old conflicts here. sides that thanx for the offer but my heart iz torn i like her yes but she iz happy and i put my friends before myself. to b wow spazing lol. how can u eat the muffins they were revolting against the waffles how could u. and yeah i guess i kick it up a notch.... BAM!!!!! lol and no i worship only foamy but yeah lets stab someone in the eye with a really hot french fry. lol now i have answered them all now since i am bored i will give a profile of myself.
name: marko lamela

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<respawn> cfap that always hurts
well since yesterday waz a boring day and friday nothing really happened i am going to use this time to answer to comments, b uf your reading this is my fan mail 1 lol no what i mean. welll m first one came in about three or four i must say this now my live journal iz no place to continue old conflicts it iz just to use my life to pass time so i want no fighting, with that said the comment. now listen i did care for u at one point but u stabbed me in the back the two of u if there iz one thing that pisses me the hell more then anything anyone can ever do iz betraying me or those close to me. u were the one that cast the first stone then i listened toyour problems no matter how miniscule and gave advice even though u forfeited such a right by stabbing me in the back both of u did. and the kicker waz that u come to my lj jus to curse of my problems. wake up the world does not revolve around u it never has and never will and your right i am a bitch cause i dont want people like u around me so yeah and if u r reading this i would like for u to discontinue reading my lj as of this moment. to sarah u r my friend sarahbus but their waz no need to renew old conflicts here. sides that thanx for the offer but my heart iz torn i like her yes but she iz happy and i put my friends before myself. to b wow spazing lol. how can u eat the muffins <sob> they were revolting against the waffles how could u. and yeah i guess i kick it up a notch.... BAM!!!!! lol and no i worship only foamy but yeah lets stab someone in the eye with a really hot french fry. lol now i have answered them all now since i am bored i will give a profile of myself.
name: marko lamela <and it has a bloomin k a K!!!!>
age: um 14 but 15 in a week
height 5'7''
weight: 124
nicknames: muffin man, veg, and i must say it now along wit abe and otto i am wolf that iz my animal and the insane one
likes: dr.pepper, biking,writing, martial arts, and MUFFINZ!!!!! of course damn i need a life
dislikes: fish, sharp metal things that can be thrown at me, planes, being betrayed <cough cough points to earlier part>, and various other things
looks like: well lets jus say on more then one occasion when i wear my glasses i look like harry potter <sob>, i have black hair, brownish eyes and am not at all pleasent to look at <hey least im not vain>
proud of: the strength of my kicks and speed and imagination and the fact that i least have some friends now yay
luvs:....... u should no i say it all the time
fav qoutes: a man iz not determined by fighting he iz determined on his judgement on picking hiz battles and fighting them. from: well abe tells me red hair shanks of the anime one piece i thought i made it up
with great power comes great responsibility <my spelling sux>
- uncle ben
sometimes we must give up what we luv do what iz right
- also uncle ben
though movie qoutes trhey r very tru so i like them
addictions: caffinated sodas. (i have a problem <sob sob sob>)
well that is all about me see u next update <slits own throat>

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-12T21:26:00

2004-11-13T02:47:44Z

shes watchin wrestling creaming over tough guys listenin to rap metal turntables in her eyes. its like a bad movie shes looking through me if u were me than u'd be screamin someone shoot me as i fail meseriably tryin to get the girl all the bad guys want. there she goes again with fish nets on and dreadlock in her hair she shoot me down i wanna be sedated all i wanted waz to see her naled. now i'm listenin to rapmetal, turntables in my eyes, tryin to be a tough guy, i cant grow a mustache and i aint got no season pass all i gots a moped.
damn i dont no y but that song shot into my head second i came home.no it has nothing to do with me i jus like that song. anyway the day went by, spainish i really think mizz popiel iz evil, diaz waz spazzing but so waz b. hw could u b throwing a calculator and pencil at adrianna not nice, lol jus playin b. sara um uh replied to wendy in omments in yesterdayz update even though i told her not to, she also found out i like cassie. damn i gotta learn to lie. linch waz well um moving, and mr.noble realized who he depresses the class with his stories. now i feel for him but he iz soooo depressing. o well came home and played age of mythology and am stuck now oh well. i really think cassie hates me. well i pray it works out but if she iz happy then thats better. now i must stop bitching and say one thing although i act like an idot thats all it iz. what goes through my head iz thoughts some my age never have. they are y am i here, whats my point, can i make it, or the pain i felt in the past and how to help people who are going through it now. heh i am no saint jus don think people should feel that way. now to continue i plan on sleeping in tommorrow and jus relaxing at home and think of wayz to do things. anyway to reapeat life rox still i luv it, november iz messin wit my head like always makin me to damn happy, my luv life su though although sara offered to help me by hooking me up with someone ehhhhh i don no i must think for my heart iz taken by anoher,an my friends rock so i wanna shout out to them "you all rock!!!!!" anyway with that said and done i will now die and return from the dead next update

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-10T18:34:00

2004-11-10T23:33:59Z

hey all i am luvin my life. the weekend rocked i hung out wit an old friend named otto and my friend abe man it has been awhile since we all hung out. yup we r the best of friends and r like brothers to each other, we also have nicknames we gave ourselves one day, abe iz monkey cause when he fights his moves r fast an erratic, otto iz snake cause hiz moves r the quickest strikes and i am..... i'll say another day where i am one this little animal triad. anyway we rode bikes chilled out in miller park and jus had fun. man it waz da perfect day slow, windy, and warm ahhhhh november iz da best. only problem waz that when abe and i were showing otto judo abe screwed up and threw me on the dry cement in front of my house.....owies. i got up and we went to grab some sodas in a store fore continuing on the path. monday waz good it waz all too fast though, i mean i walk in and anime club started we saw full metal alchemist. man if i dont c ep one thursday matt may kill me....lol jus messin matt iz cool. cassie waz talkin to nick and askin me if he iz sexy. i said " how would i no he and i r alwayz tryin 2 kill each other.." we only joke bout dat we r cool wit each other. yesterday waz kewl ms.witham let me hand in late assaignments and still grade them so yesterday waz kewl. today i went to class and time went too slow even for me. i havent spoken to cassie since like monday not good i think she hates me. ehhh like i said i like her she don like me but we were friends fore i felt dis way so if friends iz what we must be friendz iz what we will be. well now i am here watchin tv gonna play age of mythology den eat and chill here by my comp. so c ya next time i feel like writen and when i have time.

p.s. the message at the end of the last post waz meant for someone named wendy not anyone else. plez if i offended anyone.

life right now cant go better for me. hope my readerz lives r da same
peace and stay frosty all

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-05T21:52:00

2004-11-06T03:19:44Z

jus fought wit my mom. y iz it that every friday that me my mom and brother always must fight. see its like this my brother is 12 and iz the tyoical wanna b gangster, likes rap to an extent he wont listen to anything else, thinks he is the man of the house cause he acts ike my dad, plays football, enjoys being outside, and feels that cause he knows lots about working with his hands. my mom is a good person i owe her for all the good qualites i have, but she feels that the world iz against her that no one cares for her and that she is the only one who cares for her. and i well i jus have problems expressing my feelings in everyway except my fists and writing, and no nothing bout working with my hands but i have such a big imagination i jus want to use it. so as u see i have reasons y i try and hide mt feelings if i really feel unhappy or sad i will hide it and act happy so no one will worry and ruin there mood. anyway an old enemy wanted to fight me and tried hitting the weaknesses he knew of to try and get me to fight him, but i cant fight him for 3 reasons. first i made a promise a promise between 3 friends and i am bound by it, second these fist have caused to much pain they will only be used now to protect the ones i care about.and finally although i hate him to my very core i must not for he and i were friends till july and i feel that as a last act i should not hurt him. any way today went slow again, damn i luv the slow days so great and beutiful.started to get back in shape and repractice tae kwon doe and see if there are any tournaments i can enter. i hung out wit abe, stayed home, and had lunch at dos amigos. ahhh the slow life how i long for it, and if i stay patient and true to the path i have chossen it will be mine. she and i dont talk anymore, i fear she may hate me and if so my chances have dropped even further she is wit another and happy that is all that should matter but i still feel hurt. all i can say is i wish her the best, pray that it works and pray for her happiness even if i must hurt to do it. well to recap today waz awesome. see u all next update.

p.s. if u still read this and u no who u r yes i blocked u i do not want anything to do with u anymore i help u with your problems and give advice but my problems are miniscile i also dont like to b betrayed so back off i want nothing to do with u

ninja_wolf @ 2004-11-01T19:10:00

2004-11-02T00:18:09Z

man today sucked.first i din sleep cause i had a pain in my stomach still do feels like im bein stabbed. i got sent home. now im here chillin listen to offspring. still got no clue where i stand wit my feelings so whatever. now i must address this. if u wanna read my lj fine. but if u don wanna here me bitch bout life then don read or curse me off. my life your jus a spectator. so if u wanna read fine if your gonna curse me off and i no who the fuck u r back the fuck off ok i don tell u to get the fuck over things i help u get through them

ninja_wolf @ 2004-10-30T20:57:00

2004-10-31T01:00:06Z

today was the best day i had in awhile. it was one of those slow uneventful days \. man i luv those days, now i'm, so friggin happy i'm basicly dancing in my chair. i luv this feeling i have. man but by monday it will be gone. so now im gonna enjoy this taste of the life i want. i lost yesterday but who gives a crap i had the most fun i have had in a while and my friends were there so i din lose really. man nothing can bring me down right now. i am so bloody happy and its thanx to the day, getting enough sleep and all the caffine i have had today (i have an addiction 2 soda sue me) my gramps is scaring me a bit. he is telling me things from when i was small as if he is gonna die. i cant even imagine what would happen if he did. that was about the only sad part bout today. anyway i still am in love wit her. i believe it will all work out but for now if she is happy i'm glad. so everyone knows i have quit crack, magic kool-aid and am back in the game of luv. life is great

p.s.
LIFE HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS BUT I LUV IT ANYWAY

ninja_wolf @ 2004-10-29T20:45:00

2004-10-30T00:46:01Z

forgot to say...
CURSE ME OFF AND YPUR HEAD IS MINE. AND I NO WHO IS CURSING ME OFF ALWAYS

ninja_wolf @ 2004-10-29T20:17:00

2004-10-30T00:19:12Z

all bloomin readers i don do this much but i need help. i like her yes but she is hapy wit another. i am unhappy but i care that she is happy. what should i do if u no plez tell me. i beg of u the reader to help me

ninja_wolf @ 2004-10-29T17:30:00

2004-10-29T21:54:15Z

meh my life jus sux. i am heart broken and enpty inside.....again. i prayed i would never feel this way again. but the lord saw different. i know he is testing me but for what? i feel all this pain all of it unescapable. there is only one way to find the peace of mind and happiness. no i will not kill myself i will make that dream of mine come true, i will grow up get marrie have kids and be the best dad ever and be the best damn writer in the world all while that slow and easy life i look forword 2. it will happen i will find the right girl even if it is in 20 years i gotta have patientce. i will make it as a writer and be the best damn one in the whole world. all those who kill themself cause of a little pain in their lives are fools they havn't figured that every life has a meaning mine while come with time till then i'll wait it out and enjoy the very chance that i have to live this life. anyway today kunj seemed sad and i now no. kunj i no how u feel if u read this im there for u man. i enyered a costume contest and lost miserably. but i wwore my " hug me i'm huggable" sign. and ihad a bunch of fun but still was scared . mostly it waz cause i hate being with to many people mainly cause im used to being alone. i saw something that saddened me greatly. but i am glad that it happened i may be sad but last she is happy. anyway i gots 2 get one with may life.... and make that dream come true. if anyone cares what drives me is the fact that i gotta become better than everyone in my family. see i have this thing where my gramps and i r close every good thing about me i learned from him and my mom but she taught me kindness and the ability ti care so much for people i don even no. my gramp taught me to be wise and keep a cool head when it matters (basiclly the only time it is cool) and to never give up. since i can remember my family has said that i am too mature for my age and far to wise in many things they also think i am the most kind person a person would meet. my friends who really no me say that i am too kind and care too much for everyone. i don no anymore, the first time the pain strted i kept it in and if people hit certain things i would crack. so i don no antmore. but i do no i hold alot back when i fight cause i don like hurting anyone. but if i ever crack i lose conrtrol and get much stronger. trust me i no. no i never hurt anyone or my self. what the fuck did u think i like hurting people. well i failed nobles myth thing cause i froze. it has been since i quit luv. before i end i have one last message for u all

GET IN THE WAY OF MY DREAM AND YOU ARE MY ENEMY AND I WONT HOLD ANYTHING BACK AGAINST U. BUT DON WORRY I WONT KILL YOU LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT
also hooked on phonix worked four me gueerenteed

ninja_wolf @ 2004-10-26T19:04:00

2004-10-27T00:12:21Z

well my weekend sucked. the lord jus keeps testing me and my ability to stay on the path of which i choose long ago. friday i gave up on luv, i figured all it has done for me is give me pain so i quiet. saturday was okay i had a nice slow day where nothing happened. ahhh i long so much to live a life like that the slow peaceful uneventful life, heh maybe when i finish off wit making my dream come true. if all of u are wondering what the dream i keep talking bout is its to be a writer and be there always for the ones i care bout. sunday was by far the worst day i have ever had. i slept only 10 minutes that night, not that its different from the other night i've had these past 3 weeks. see something in school something that is my permenant secret has opened up old scars and feelings. old feelings of being alone and that i would never live up to my dream, that i would fail in everything. because of what happened i am now hit with painful memories, regrets,mistakes, and other things.well anyway sunday i learned she had a boyfriend so i decided that luv really does fucking hate me so i vowed to never return to it. don get me wrong if she is happY THEN thats enough for me but still i now have a shattered heart and am unhappy. heh its funny that the lord is testing me this way. well then i spent until 2 workin on a project and with the troble i've been having sleeping it was not easy. anyway npw here i am with a broken heart getting these feelings out. i think she may be made at me now and if so i am sorry if she is reading this forgive me i am having problems with whati am feeling and i jus cant deal with this pain i feel inside so sorry. if it makes things easier i will leave your life. and i would do that for any of my friends. see long ago i vowed that what ever i could do for my friends i would do it. i would help them, guide them, and protect them with these two fists of mine. a person must protect what is important to them and my friends and family r just that. well enough of my bitching. see u all next update.